Kaleidascope Frequencies

today i was out of my element. i kept quiet most of the day. talked with my internal thoughts, battled my frustrations within my own mind, and sealed tightly my lips so that i wouldn't leak any frustrations that would try to make a run for it. so, an outsider looking at my external, all you'd see was an amber-haired, rusted-jade-eyed,   petite-stacked female that seemed like she kept her thoughts in her pockets. Now, ladies and gentlemen, if that were true, if i really kept my thought in my pockets, i'd need about 7 duffle bags worth to stuff them into, for my thoughts are asexual and feel the need to keep producing though i say "stop it now."

how did i feel today? ....
how did my thoughts handle the first part of my day?...

White Noise from Devotchik on Vimeo.

what you dont understand what that white noise means?
what was i really feeling?

however, so much at the same time.


its hard for me to be doing 'nothing'. sitting still has never been an option. its always go go go, move, run, dust clouds chasing after my shanaigans wherever  i go. Today, there were no dust clouds. there was no where i had to be. i museumed it up with my great aunt stefania, which, was hard within itself. 84 year old women have a little bit of a different of a perspective on the world than a girl as myself. i think i need to propose that i need to go to a museum by myself next time, because i am not allowing my pockets of thoughts to run and stretch their legs and do what they were meant to do: think. i work best with some explination, but then i need to figure things out myself. i like to absorb the world around me. it's a kaleidascope of feeling and actions and thought processess that intertwine with eachother, and i find that when im discovering these things at my own pace, is when i truly find the overall picture to be worthwile. Today, i was stretched, for my kaleidascope wasn't spinning, my pocket thoughts weren't being disposed, and i quite possibly trailed passed by one or twenty intelectual advances for myself. tis okay, everyone needs to be stretched. i cant always have 'me time'. i cant always have what i want. sometimes the 84 year old woman is going to have to steer the dust cloud wheel, and i will just have to seal my thoughts for the day.

however, these are the few things that made me stop, stare, spin my kaleidascope a bit, and fold the moment up to put into my purse. here's a few:

yes, if you havent guessed, the latter is a neolithic loom. Having took a weaving course in college, it really made me appreciate the discovery of the loom, and how modernized we have become. How truly amazing. At the Archeological museum i saw frying pans (yes, so cool), a clock gear (to them), statues beyond belief, and many other pockets of thoughts that my 2:37am brain cannot recollect.

but here i am. before i went home and scratched out my brain of boredome...

 I doodled. and doodled. and carefully dumped out my thoughts. my kaleidascope came tumbling out of my purse, and all that never got turned into the aray of colors that should have been sorted through the own mischief of my brain, was battled on paper. i vented, and drew. thank God for an outlet. Thank God for a God, or else this amber-haired, rusted-jade-eyed, petite girl would have stress wrinkles like you wouldnt believe. You must be thinking: for such a 'cute little girl' she really does a lot of pondering on the battlefront of her brain.

well folks, thats just the way the cookie crumbles. im greek. im short. i have a lot to say, and never say it. page through my blog or my journals, and it will tell it for you.

so cheers to a new found stubborness in my brattihood. cheers to a petite problem that shines like amber when it's expressed, and isn't left so jaded when it lays to sleep. cheers to a pick-me-up when it couldn't come soon enough. cheers to being in such a beautiful place. cheers to coffee and cousins, and a language that flys over my head faster than a speeding rocket. cheers to this, that, these, and those.