Patches

What does one do or say when “rats ate your art project”? As a student teacher, I thought I would have to see a lot, but this was not one of the familiarities I was comfortable familiarizing myself with.

I woke up last Thursday, with eagerness and an anxiousness to begin my painting onto rain sticks my second graders had so beautifully and chaotically created. I knew My supervisor, Dr. Rayala was coming into my classroom (that wasn’t actually mine because of the grand ‘ole art on a cart), so I knew this lesson would need to go as smooth as possible. Though, when I walked into my classroom (that wasn’t actually mine, but the storage closet), I noticed half of my rain sticks had been munched away by furry critters in the night. They left their mark with left over paper mache pieces scattered all around the room, as well as droppings, to ensure that I would be 100% stressed out. It worked.

Being in Allentown School District, I knew I’d have my struggles and high demands for being on my toes at all times, but I was not prepared for having to think on my feet like this. What was the “ethical” thing to do in that situation? I thought, and thought, and realized, no matter how much I thought, I had class in a couple minutes, and kids needed art no matter what the circumstances. I “sanitized”, and patched the holes…and moved on. Just like I think many of us need to do while we’re student teaching. Many times, we’ll find ourselves in a rut, and the easy thing is to panic and beat ourselves up (ironically enough, I just taught one of my 4^th graders what the word “critical” meant, and how we are our own worst enemy),  but, we just need to sanitize, patch it up, and move on.

Surprisingly, I was pleased with how the lesson played out. I was “confident” (or as much as one could be, when I knew the kids were touching mice specimen), and was the same Miss Berry for them, as well as for Dr. Rayala. Just when my confidence decided to take a leisurely stroll, my “calming music” on volume level 34, decided to shuffle, and blast out a rap song right before my ears! (of course, nothing can go smoothly..) I raced over to my speakers, hijacked my iPod, sanitized and patched the hole. Distraction could have sunk in for the rest of class, but… Miss Berry patches moments; she doesn’t let the hole get bigger.
As for the rain sticks... they're in my car now. 

For Me, For You.

i want the type of love where you walk through the door, and your skin is coated

you can just feel the weight of words, and emotions, passions, joys, hurts and tears all alike crowd and circle around you

i want the type of love that encompasses the bed at night, and fills up your every thought even when you're trying to dream

that type of love that gets caught in in the doorway just as you're late for work

you get pulled back for just one more squeeze to remember why the last one felt so good.

i want the type of love that has no clear beginning and ending, no specific spot on the map; it just exists

you only know what color shoes you're wearing, and you packed your love's lunch by accident in your lunchbox

i want every small detail to be the biggest parade

i want the love that celebrates every joke you didn't quite understand

the love that can't sleep at 3:17 am

and the love that kisses you without warning.

you know, i want that love that fills my lungs

and protects what's under my bed and into my thoughts.

that love that doesn't question all my antics and unnecessary questions

i want a love that makes me feel those tickles in my insides everyday

like i just met you for the first time all over again.

i want to feel like i'm flirting with you.

every word sounds sweeter than the last.

i want the type of love that does not judge or mock

when new ideas are groomed with passion, and worked through together

that together type of love

that love that sees with no hesitation

that will fly around the world because in that moment it made perfect sense.

the love that will put off cleaning the kitchen for a day because we haven't shared vulnerable moments and exciting ideas in over a week.

i want the type of love that gives me the oversized sweatshirt at night, and i want the love that forgives for what happened yesterday, and what will happen tomorrow.

i want the love that is honest and true. forever and always special. i want the love that is courageous.

i want that all.

love is all of these things.