30 days

I found this blog
and i really
just really
started to love this idea
of list making.

not just ordinary lists, but ones in which that help you organize, create, and think, everyday.

im excited to fill my journal with pages of these prompts, and though they're simple
i think it will be a fun experience.

heres some examples:


List #17: Words that are hard to spell
List #5: Weekend goals
List #2: Things i am good at
List #16: Things to see in my town

Enjoy!

seaweed

i just want this to keep going
but this will do for now
goodnight




Seaweed from Tell No One on Vimeo.

smushed

ever feel like you could just press your face
right up against a glass panel


but possibly not desire to peel it off?


thats how i feel too!

 

resurrecting an past drawing

to express a present emotion

Get Up and Went

today
for the first time
in a long while
i woke up smiling
woke up feeling an excitement in my bones
and a yearning in my blood

so i went with it
i went with it all the way to church
from new jersey to Pennsylvania 
i went with it at 100 mph
i went with it and smiled while i sang
smiled while i listened to the Gospel
smiled while i hiked up a mountain with caring friends
and i went with it
i went with it to the rocky rocks atop that mountain
and took it with me while i spoke of my rocky life
i went with it on the hike down
and the unfamiliar cruise home
i went with it to my apartment
into the familiar of my everyday's
and my reality of 'maybe's'
but i smiled the whole day
and held it in my hand
because for the first time in a long time
i felt my bones
and i felt the warmth of my body.
i woke up with these feelings today,

so i took it, and went with it.

done

Thankful

TGIF TGIF TGIF TGIF

this was a week filled with
"AHH's"
and
"NOOO's"
and
"CRAPPP's"
and
short heavy breathing to run to the next building to get more work done
and scratching my head once, twice, three times
to figure out:
"if a week like this is hard to balance out, how will REAL LIFE work out for me?"

so TGIF, and thank you Pixar for relocating my prior stressed out brain, to one of childhood memories.

hope this does the trick for you too.

sometimes you just need to laugh

until next week....

more minutes, please

Today i:
1. bought a cheese danish (the part i was saving for last, plummeted to the ground on my last bite)
2. blow dried my hair for once (took 30 minutes of tired arms, and i ended up gathering all my hardwork into a messy pony tale anyway)
3. went to the library on 3 separate occasions (i think all semester, I've been twice, total)
4. made a lot of nasty/funny/judgmental comments in my head in the library (i need to start writing these witty slurs no one can hear but me, down.)
5. painted like i used to (and had affirmation from my professor that it was a good choice)
6. made meatloaf with ashley (it took 4 times longer than i wanted, but man, does a loaf of loveloafmeat sit well in your stomach)
7. wished there were 3 more hours in the current day (because now i'm left feeling somewhat like this:

Overload

feeling a tad overwhelmed

with all the work thats due

yet no motivation to do it.

a few things that could help me out:

some quality sunshine

a bit of lovin from my family

maybe some strong coffee to hold me over..

but for now

i just need to sleep

and that's it.

color these thoughts:

i was down in the dumps today

so i painted.

im so thankful for an outlet.

grateful that i can release in an expressive manner

exhale what ive been holding in

just go.

a needed contemplation realiztaion

if you asked me
right now
how i was feeling
i'd respond with a
"weighted"
then a long sigh
then an eye roll
possibly a slunch of the back
and the another follow up of
"i just don't know".

quite frankly,
when do we ever know

it's not until we hit our weak points
that we suddenly realize
that we only have our today's
and our right heres of the present

it's easy to forget the 'taken for grantid'
when things are sweet and tangy,
enjoyable, and satisfying.

so let me relish in my weak points
let me slunch
and groan
and sigh.

for if it's the only thing that will enable
my realization of
how tiny we are on this earth
and how days aren't promised
than so be it.

let the irony seep in
let my vulnerability guide my epiphany.

we aren't promised anything.
nothing is guaranteed.

*remind myself to read this, when life is going well*

i will jump:

from the coast of maine

 

to the coast of new jersey

 

i'll jump where ever i go

even all the way up in canada

 

and i'll jump 

at the sandy beaches of north carolina

nothing stops me

not even venturing to the equator

 

not even the warm southern comfort of georgia

i will jump wherever i go.

even in a city of millions;

i will stay persistent.

the familiar

in this rainy season
this weather
the droplets that fall with a pattern

i felt a familiar warmth.
something i know
something... special...

someone.

until your next visit to me;
love you dad.

memory

remember when we turned and smiled at eachother
those were the days
remember when we sung our tune as loud as we could
nothing else mattered
remember when we found pleasure in the little things
a sandwich, a walk, a hello
remember when all those things existed
they're distant now, remember; forget.

A Complementary Year

A year in complementary colors: 

red&green

blue&orange

purple&yellow

 

yins and yuns

two little girls
attempting to catch up on their
lack of sleep
via- a shot of espresso.

two little girls
waltz in
with their chunk of change
and their matching scarves to order
their drink of choice

two little girls
get the confused stare
a glare or two
and a question that had
everyone in the back of the line
watching as she asked:

"aren't you a little young to be drinking espresso?"

the two little girls answered:
"we're twenty-one"

and the two little girls
got told once more
they looked like fourteen and sixteen year young
little
little girls.

"you'll appreciate it when you're older"

a foreshadowing moment

there was so much air in the air tonight

all i wanted to do was breathe in deeper than the last.

have my lungs fill up with the upcoming spring

sooner than the person behind me.

every building above

and every road that stretches out to the sea

is smiling the same smile as i am

because the air is filled with a lack of

heaviness.

so this, i encourage you

to get off your seat

and close your eyes

unlock your fists

and inhale the next chapter

that's to come.

i love the air in the air

In a Vulnerable State

don't bring dear friends of yours
into your home state
because they'll end up making fun of
your jug handles
and your gas pumps.

lets be free
with movement
and laughter
with thought
and the  uncertainties 

let's be fluid with our minds
and our hearts
let's do this
let's not hold back
let's run.


Redbird - Giants of the Forest - Episode One from Amazing Factory Productions Inc. on Vimeo.

as ali would say
this is my "emo self" talking

It's very much true though.
but everything will be fine
this i'm sure.


with love.