Gas, but No Keys

everyone has those moments
the moments when you can sit in your bed late at night
and still remember your first kiss

how it was chapped and nervous
beautiful and innocent
eager and clammy

you have the moments of perception and clarity all at once
and the finger that traced your spine and every imperfection you swore you had
but he declared otherwise

you have moments of familiar feelings
when all you can feel are the living room walls as your friends
and the quilt on your bed is the only one who holds all your late night secrets now

its almost too possible to have moments when your thoughts linger into
your past
and journey through the trials, high-fives, smiles, and star-struck-eyes.

everyone has moments
when the ground becomes soggy with how much we're pouring onto it
and how we aren't able to dial his number anymore.

we have moments when all we want to do is rip down the sky
post a "be-back-in-15-minutes" sign,
and run away.

we have moments of longing
of doubt
and of desire.

it's moments when you can't seem to screw your head on straight enough to make a valid conclusion
you keep hitting the rewind button when everyone else is watching a different show.
it's moments like tonight when i only want to be traced on my spine again
and i want something more than these walls to hear me out.
i'm the most uncertain i've been in a while
and even if i wanted to tac up a "be back soon" sign
it wouldn't suffice for the weight of my heart that has already decided
the only feelings it wishes to announce to my body
are the rewind thoughts.

im trying make new memories
new quilts
new high-fives for my heart so it can move on
but it's locked in a different car.

just because you put gas into a car
doesn't mean it will move on.
you need to drive it.

i'm stuck.
stuck in these moments.