Memories of Dad:

i think of you in hard copies
in major in minor
in memories that are holding on by threads
of ones that are stuck on with the oil pastels you hung all over the house
my memories consist of your five o clock shadow
and the rhythm of your feet moving as i stood on top of them
i think of you in large hand movements
slow and steady, fortissimo, and never out of tune
i see you with the plaid button downs, and the quilt that never left the bed
memories of nbc waving to me in the morning, and eagerness for the day
i remember our reflections, not yours singular, but ours together
the cologne on both our wrists, and the tile on your floor
i see the almost brown carpet
and the soup cans that lined the shelves
i remember every single quarter i ever stole from your car console
and the look of disappointment that you knew i snuck out
i remember your hands, and i think of them as a close friend of ours
i think of you in black and white keys
in brass reflections, and harmonica shapes
i can see you in memories and hard copies
smells and sounds
i try turning the volume up
but as i get older, it seems that i cant reach for the knob quite as well
i can see you in the waves
in the ocean at pompham, and in the rain in kutztown
i see you in ever snow flake, because thats where you speak to me now
i see you on a roll of film, and on every piece of fruit i dont wash
i think of you in moments in time, and patterns from the past
i think of you in your glasses and the imprints that were left on your nose by the end of the day
i sometimes have the privilege of remembering your face but i mainly get glimpses of
the navy emblems on your green jacket, the tag inside that had more of a chance of surviving than my memories do now, the socks that pulled right above your ankle, and how just how very big your hands felt as they engulfed my whole body.
i am your child, in memories, and hard copies
in photos and in memory banks
i'll keep this volume turned up as loud as i can
because if i dont, i'm not sure what else i'l have to hold onto.