im just going to jump the gun and get to it:
i feel like im at a good place right now.
most days, i feel as if im steadily climbing up a hill...
possibly even a small mountain.
and i'mheavily breathing...
possibly even holding my own lack of oxygen.
im climbing, and tripping, and treading the dirt
and quite possibly, i feel like i'll never get to the top.
i'll get to a good pace
possibly even smile about it.
i'll soak up the sun
and possibly even gloat a little.
i'll look around my surroundings
possibly even wonder how i made it through.
and then, waves come from the sky
boulders wash up on shore
and smiles of success turn into frowns of questioning.
i may brush off my knees, and stand up on my ground again
and begin my journey i am much too familiar with.
so then begins the cycle again..
mountain jogging, oxygen deprivation, and wonderment of "where am i going, and how did i get here?"
today however, i am not jogging, nor sucking in my next breath
possibly im looking around, ready to duck for the next meteor that will ornament the trees
possibly im keeping still, very still, to make sure the fresh fields around me, are actually part of my story line, and not just some dream that may awake me with disapointment.
i feel good.
possibly great.
i feel content
possibly eager.
i feel at ease about trials and jogging, and mountains
possibly even ready enough for a boulder that comes rolling in.
i feel ready, and aware that this feeling can be put into turmoil at any moment.
possibly, quite possibly, i feel like my own body
my own flesh and charisma, and whit
actually belong to me.
i have a feeling i don't need to knock on wood any time soon
possibly, just possibly, i can't jinx it this time.
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