For so long,
for-countless hours, weeks, and moments i felt as if i was swimming.
not the type of swimming that makes you smile and excited to jump off the diving board after the next kid..
but that kind of swimming where you're in a large lake.
I felt like i was in a body of water, treading water because
shore was out of sight, and nearby land was in nowhere to be found.
i was swimming, kicking my feet and arms, looking for any idea of were i was going..
but also, where i came from.
just felt tiring, and uncertain of when i'd see some hint of a shoreline.
but the problem with swimming, is, if you stop...
you drown.
and in no way was was i going to drown in the middle of the lake...
not now.
not before i saw the mirage turn into an image that existed in real time.
Unaware of my surroundings and where-to-next's
i felt sand on my feet
i felt my arms begin to relax as the lake began to even out
i saw the deep lake floor beneath me turn from 'nothingness' into 'approachable ground' in 10 seconds flat
all at once my surroundings filled in with color, and i was being relieved of my treading.
after so long of 'working to an endless and unattainable goal', i finally felt sand on my feet.
i finally saw the diving board.
i finally got to dive in, knowing where the lake floor stood
and where i just swam from.
i'm in a good spot now.
i feel like im still treading and peddling my feet
staying afloat.
but this time, i can enjoy
knowing i won't drown.
